He was a Marauder
by tiggerbean
Summary: Peter saw, he observed and he listened. While still at Hogwarts he watched his friends and he saw how their friendships were deeper than what most people could see and he couldn't help but feel he wasn't a part of it.


**DISCLAIMER- **Everything belongs to the wonderful JKR and sadly not to me 

This is the first time I've ever posted any of my work on here so please excuse any mistakes, also reviews would be greatly appreciated so I can improve my writing x

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Four boys. Four lives tangled together on a path of friendship, betrayal and fear. Four lives with tragic ends.

They were the Golden Boys of Hogwarts, admired by all, famed for their legendary sense of humour and extraordinary friendship. They were Marauders.

Contrary to the events of their later life and the stories that were to be passed down from generation to generation, at one point in his life, Peter Pettigrew had been one of these boys. He was a Marauder.

During their time at Hogwarts Peter saw all. He observed, he calculated and he listened. Perhaps without the encouragement of his rather more outgoing friends he would have been content to spend his time peacefully scurrying in the shadows, just watching. But as it was Peter was thrust into the spotlight in his school years, something he was not always entirely comfortable with and so even though he was at the height of popularity with his friends, he still spent his time listening.

Mostly he observed his friends, his fellow Marauders. Seven years of this left Peter knowing the deepest secrets of his closest friends and things that even they didn't know about themselves. Peter also learned the intricacies of the relationships within the group, and this particular nugget of knowledge was something which finally pushed Peter over the edge. He could see their bond, he could dissect their emotions and he could fake the same feelings, but he could never bring himself to love as much as they did.

James knew Sirius. James knew Sirius needed family. Years of neglect and abuse at the hands of his own parents had left Sirius strangely fragile and in need of the love that only a close family could give. James knew this when Sirius turned up on his doorstep, suitcase in tow. James knew this when he welcomed him in, promising him he could stay for as long as he needed. James knew this when he went out of his way to provide Sirius with the warmth and care that had been missing from his childhood and when he specifically made sure that Sirius would have his own personal stocking permanently added to the Potter fireplace that same Christmas. James knew Sirius. Peter knew this.

Sirius knew James. Sirius knew that James needed to be needed. Lost, alone and without a family as a teenager. Sirius had never even considered going to anyone but James. Sirius knew that James would take great joy in helping in him, just like he always did. Sirius knew that James was never happier than when he was helping those closest to him. Sirius knew this when he watched James become almost a leader of their group in first year, he watched him grow and flourish as he guided the other boys into mischief and fun. Sirius knew this when he took a step back, curtailed his rebellion and head strong nature and let James lead the way. Sirius knew James. Peter knew James.

James would die for Sirius.

Sirius would die for James.

They were Marauders.

He was a Marauder too you know.

Sirius knew Remus. Sirius knew Remus needed fun. Sirius knew his friend was constantly worrying, about school, about his friends and about the secret. Sirius knew that the best way to make him forget his difficult life, at least for a little while, was to make sure he had fun. Sirius knew this when he talked him into special pranks that only they knew about, when he dragged him to The Three Broomsticks to drown any worries in a hearty amount of butterbeer (Firewhiskey if they were lucky) and Sirius knew this when he singled Remus out in class just to fling a bit of paper at the back of his head, scribbled on it the latest new prank idea or the worst jokes Sirius could think of. Sirius knew it worked and that it was all worth it when he saw the delighted look on his friends face, although Remus always tried to hide it with a frown. Sirius knew Remus. Peter knew this.

Remus knew Sirius. Remus knew Sirius needed to be heard. Remus knew this when he sat with him in the common room until the early hours of the morning, listening to him spill his heart out, finally letting out the demons which had haunted him for years. Remus knew that sometimes Sirius needed to cry and Remus knew that it was okay to cry with him as he heard his friend relive the horrible times which had eventually forced him to leave his family. Remus knew this as he listened until a small, calm smile appeared on Sirius' lips and he drifted off to sleep, head gently placed in his friends comforting lap. Remus knew that all the nights sleep he missed were worth it because Sirius needed this. Remus knew Sirius. Peter knew this.

Sirius would die for Remus.

Remus would die for Sirius.

They were Marauders.

He was a Marauder too you know.

James knew Remus. James knew that Remus needed friendship. James knew that Remus had convinced himself that one day his friends would turn on him and he would be left alone in the world. James knew this and thought it was a ridiculous notion. He wanted Remus to know this too, he knew Remus had to understand that he was loved by his friends, he knew this when he pressed his friends forward, encouraging them as they went through the painful process of learning to become animagi. And this thought was at the front of his mind when in 2nd year, for months on end, he spent night after night after night in the library, sobbing over books as he desperately searched for a cure to help Remus. As he grew and matured James knew his quest had been hopeless but he knew that everyday he had to let Remus know they would never leave him, and that he would never ever have to feel alone again. James knew Remus. Peter knew this.

Remus knew James. Remus knew that James needed to be protected. Remus saw something in James that nobody else did, in fact Lily was the only other person ever to see this side of James Potter. Remus knew that underneath all the masculinity and false bravado, inside James there was a small boyish vulnerability. Remus knew that James was easily hurt and that years of rejection from Lily, no mater how much he tried to laugh it off, really affected him deeply. Remus knew that sometimes James needed someone to step in and just be there for him. That's why Remus, who was known for being notoriously level-headed and calm in the most difficult of situations, had now thrice engaged in a brawl whilst defending his friend. Remus knew this more than ever in 5th year when Robert Thomas of Ravenclaw had mercilessly taunted James after Lily turned James down in favour of a valentines date with him. Remus knew that James had tried to laugh it off but he saw the defeated look in his friends eyes, and that's why, in front of the entire school, professors and all, Remus stepped forward and landed a punch squarely in the middle of Thomas' face. The months detention had been worth it just knowing the James knew he would always be there to protect him. Remus knew James. Peter knew this.

James would die for Remus.

Remus would die for James.

They were Marauders.

He was a Marauder too you know.

He was always the forgotten Marauder, the fourth wheel, the tag along. Nobody ever said that to him but he could see it in their eyes. He could see people looking at him thinking "He doesn't belong with them, why are people like them taking pity on a pathetic lump like him?". Peter grew so used to thinking this way that when he observed the bonds the others had, it changed him. If only he had opened up, looked closer at his friends and trusted them to love him, maybe then he would have seen they considered him family. His refusal to see what he had with his friends and his cold outlook on their friendship made him an easy target for Voldemort to pick off.

He was a Marauder.

He was never a brother.

Peter would die for no one.

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Thank you for taking the time to read and please do review!

x


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